I sorta followed this recipe I found on Pinterest: Fettuccine alfredo.
By sorta you can probably guess that I kinda fudged some measurements.

Here’s my version–Mostly eyeballed
Cut 6 tablespoons butter into a soup pot on medium low heat. Saute a diced onion and 3-4 tablespoons of minced garlic in the butter. I added salt and pepper periodically through the cooking stages–To the onion stage and after the cream had thickened a bit. Grate 1 1/2 or 2 cups parmesan and set aside.
While you’re waiting for the onions to go translucent, start boiling a large pot of water with an eyeballed amount of salt in it. Once the water began to warm I threw in a bag of frozen, chopped broccoli pieces. When the water comes to a boil add a whole box of fettuccine or whatever pasta your darn well feel like eating! Screw the rules of a specific pasta to a specific sauce. I almost made it with bow ties. Set a timer for al dente recommended on the box. Otherwise you’ll forget about it and overcook it….Not that I would ever do that.
Once the onions are ready, add 2 cups of heavy whipping cream. Bring to a super soft boil. Make sure you get tiny bubbles but that can be calmed by stirring, which I did almost constantly. I was terrified that I would burn it. All the recipes and cooks will tell you that the cream will reduce. Folks, unless I had dumped it back into a measuring cup, I would not have been able to tell at all. And who dumps cream into a measuring cup to check? I had my on a soft boil for about five minutes and the cream did seem thicker.

I turned the heat off but left the pot on the electric stove top–It was getting some residual heat. Slowly stir in the grated parmesan little handfuls at a time. When each little handful melts down, add another until your 1 1/2 cups are in the sauce. If you don’t think it will be too thick go ahead and add the extra half cup. I reserved mine as a topping for when I served my pasta.
Next, I used a smallish sieve to scoop the broccoli out of the pasta pot. Mostly the broccoli floated to the top and the pasta to the bottom so it worked out nicely. You may want to test a piece of broccoli for tenderness. Mine was done about four minutes before my pasta timer went off. I threw the broccoli straight into the sauce because it was ready just a couple minutes before my broccoli.
When the pasta timer buzzes, drain it and add it to the alfredo. Stir it around and serve as you like. I didn’t even notice any troubles reheating this on the stove later. There are so many fats in the sauce that I didn’t need to add anything extra. Heat on low with a lid to keep from scorching the pasta.
A quick tip on the parm. I bought a block and grated it myself. Typically store bought pre-grated cheese has added flour (or probably some evil chemicals) to keep it from sticking back together. This also means it can be harder to melt into a sauce. Use pre-grated at your own risk. I’m sure it would work in a pinch. Don’t use the foot-cheese AKA powdered parm tho. For real, just don’t.
Okay, I realize how irritating it is to read a recipe in the middle of shitty narrative. So, for those who are simply skimming for a recipe:
Broccoli alfredo
6 tablespoons butter
1 diced onion
3-4 tablespoons of minced garlic
2 cups heavy whipping cream
2 cups parmesan, grated (Grate it yourself!)
bag of chopped, frozen broccoli
1 box of fettuccine/pasta
-Saute onions and garlic in butter.
-Cook broccoli and pasta (al dente) in a pasta pot together.
-Soft boil and keep stirring cream until slightly thickened approx 5 min.
-Turn off heat and add 1 1/2 cups parm at a time. Stir in until melted.
-When tender, add broccoli to sauce.
-Drain al dente pasta and add to sauce.
-Scarf it down!
It is ridonkulous that that is all it takes to make this amazing pasta.